Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
