Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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