he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
