I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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