Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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