I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
