Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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