Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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