Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
