Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
