I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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