he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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