ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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