so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
