I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
