I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize