After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
