yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
