just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
