WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
