so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize