we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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