i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
