We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
