yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
