can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
