Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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