Yo dont text me then not text me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
