Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize