I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
