thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
