Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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