last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
