apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize