your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
