she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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