these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
