but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
