He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
