its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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