I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it glows. i had to have it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
