the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
