I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize