You really coming over, don't trick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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