he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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