there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
