last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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