i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
