If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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