does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
