Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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