Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
