he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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