dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
