what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
