did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
