first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Randomize
