She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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