i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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