I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
