maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
