I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
