I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
third nipple confirmed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize