I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
