Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
