I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
