I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize