So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
